While It's Good

Sometimes it's hard for me to remember how good it can be with me and Mikey when we're both super tuned in to each other and spot on with everything and spending time with each other constructively and laughing and making love and just being married, you know what I mean? Most of the time we're like this


Morning

Mike: Hey will you give Austin his meds? I'm late for work and I gotta go.
Me: Yeah, sure. Love ya, bye.


Afternoon

Mike: Don't forget to call blahblahblah and schedule an appointment for fiddle dee doo.
Me: Yeah, yeah I'll do it. But why can't you do it? Oh, I need you to do (insert tremendously stressful chore here) after you get off work
Mike: Damn it. Alright. (Heavy sighing)
Me: Le sigh

After work


Me: Hey baby.
Mike: ::stares into space and doesn't move::: I am...so tired. Work was totally fucked today because of the boss' blahblahblahblahblah
Me: I'm sorry baby ::forgets to listen after his initial complaint about work and stares at his faces and dazes off instead
Mike: You're totally not even listening right now are you.
Me: Heh? Oh...sorry.
Mike goes downstairs to play X-Box until it's time for dinner

Dinnertime

Me: Kids! Time for dinner! Steven, stop telling your sister what to do and focus on yourself for once. Violette, what's wrong now? Why are you crying? I'm sure your toe will feel better after a while. It'll be okay. Nick! How many times have I told you stop being a bully to your sister?! You need to say you're sorry before you eat your dinner.
::Nicky then proceeds to sit there, immovable, for at least 5 minutes before I give up and just eat dinner
Mike: Steven, what did your mom tell you to do? Will you please just listen? For god's sakes! Violette, stop spitting your milk back into your cup and then drinking it, that's disgusting. Nicky, if you don't like it then don't eat it and be hungry.
Me: ::shoves food in face as quickly as possible before I'm interrupted, finish, then feel bloated:: How was your day at school, Steven?
::all kids begin talking at once and start arguing about who was talking first and who is lying and argueargueargue::
Mike: ONE AT A TIME!
Me: I'm going to go lie down and watch some TV. I give up.
Mike: I'll be there in a few minutes.

Insert Spongebob "Four Hours Later" voice

Me: What have you been up to? I thought you were coming up here in a few minutes?
Mike: ::yawns:: I've just been playing this one game and couldnt' beat this one level, insert long video game explanation here. Do you wanna do it?
Me: ::stare bald-faced at him for a few seconds and say nothing::
Mike: Fine. I'm too tired to do it anyway. I love you baby. I'll see you in the morning.

Wash, rinse, repeat. Wash, rinse, repeat. Every. Single. Day.


This was not a creative embellishment. This is, no shit, mine and Mike's life almost day in and day out minus the shit we both deal with when not interacting with each other. That's basically the only interactions we get with each other on a daily basis.

With Scotty no longer living with us and not currently having a caregiver and Violette and Nicky's grandpa in Mexico for the next two months and their grandma constantly on long hauls, we're fucking DYING for a break over here. We had last Saturday before Valentine's Day to ourselves, amazingly enough. This never happens.

We spent it picking up ladders and a bedroom set for Austin in Puyallup. Then we planned to have super kinky-nobody's-home-let's-shake-the-walls-with-our-sex sex but then we over-excited ourselves and it only lasted 2 minutes. Then we napped. Then we got up and got dressed and I gussied myself up and we went out to eat dinner at our old special occasion place, C.I. Shenannigans. We shared a bottle of champagne and had some really, really good food. Then we shopped for bed sheets at Target and picked up the latest installment in the Twilight saga. We went home, lit some candles and started a fire in the fireplace downstairs, watched it, and then had sex again and passed the fuck out.

That's all it takes. That's all it takes! That's all it takes for us to be connected for weeks after. I can feel that it's starting to slip away again, though. Tonight we had all the kids asleep and he still passed out early. Granted, we've both had long days but I'm at least willing to stay awake and have some good quality bonding time with him. Le sigh.

Marriage is not for chumps, I'll tell you that. Just trying to remind myself for when we are super out of synch that it does and can get better. It always does but it never feels like it at the time.